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The first phase of grief around the time of the loss might have looked like numbness, depression, guilt, or anger.

This early phase is a prime example of the fact that there is no one “normal” response, that grieving is unique for each person.

Becky gently told her date that he needed to first pursue emotional and spiritual healing. But dating so soon will almost inevitably lead to heartache, since he’s neither emotionally nor legally available.

She suggested that he develop relationships with other Christian men for support, rather than seek out women for emotional comfort. And, until he heals, he won’t be able to relax and commit his entire heart to his new partner the way God intends.

Or if your relationship was strained toward the end, the grieving process can be harder as it might involve forgiving yourself too.

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Like Jennifer, she needs some advice but is concerned about how she can make the transition into dating easy on her children. He’d like to date again, and some of his friends say he should start looking for a woman now — after all, he’s getting divorced soon.

Healing is also necessary to follow God’s command to” do unto others what you would have them do unto you,” (Matthew ).

If you start dating prematurely, you could be hurting — rather than honoring — those you date.

When Becky was invited to lunch by a man she met at a bookstore, she was excited.

She was ready to date and had taken time to seek God and heal after her divorce three years earlier.

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