Self injury dating
I started self-injuring when I was 17-years-old, the result of not knowing how to manage the overwhelming emotions accompanying years of sexual abuse by a teacher.Self-injury became my way of expressing extreme feelings of fear, anger, sadness, hopelessness, shame, and a complete loss of control.This can manifest as an eating disorder, substance abuse, alcohol abuse, or acts of self-mutilation such as cutting or burning.If you relate to this, from your own experience or that of a friend or relative, you’ll understand that there can be a deep, even desperate desire to “fix” or “change” the partner in an attempt to help them stop the destructive behavior.Substitute behaviors only make people want to self-injure more. This includes some of the best, most effective therapists I’ve encountered over the years. A Google search for self-injury alternatives, for example, comes up with this as the highlighted option: “Hurt yourself in a relatively harmless way, like holding ice, or rubbing ice on the spot you would normally cut or burn.This may be thanks to the proliferation of these substitute behaviors on the internet. Chew up a hot pepper or rub liniment under your nose.Snap your wrist with a rubber band.” However, the most often-repeated options are not always the best, and that is certainly the case with these out-of-date self-injury alternatives.In fact, it’s time to retire these self-harm substitutes altogether. The true purpose of a self-injury alternative creates a distraction long enough to find other ways to express feelings, or to simply let difficult emotions pass without inflicting harm.